I continued to do my workshops, they have helped me feel better and I continued to learn about myself. The part I felt was bad was I had all this energy and no reason to wake up so it was a waste to feel good, I found all I did was work and sleep, and if I could not sleep I stayed n bed in a dark room until I had to wake up for work. This behavior was worrying me a little. I know depression is normal and dealt with differently by everyone. I had no reason to live. I was not suicidal, not this time. I just had no reason to wake up and did not care if I did or not, I even told the universe to let me die but I figured it did not want
me up there because it would have to accept me back and it did not want that. The universe was too proud to admit I was a mistake.
Regardless of what the truth may have been I am stubborn and I was not going to give up on myself even though the universe had (or so I felt). That sort of worked and kept me going.