I have been busy wondering how to make what I want work. My book has sold reasonable well, I have copies in 4 countries now, I am pleased with this. I need to learn how to sell things, I am so challenged in this area that I feel like giving up. I have contacted every book distributor in Australia and a few overseas. I received about 4 replies immediately say the book was not suitable for their market, a few helped by suggesting a website which I had already used to find them. I was happy they took the time to reply and help.
I have lost my faith in most things I have believed in because everything I worked towards seems to have fallen apart and I’m doing my best to not feel like a failure. I have lost faith in the universe and I am very angry at it. I want to have faith but feel betrayed by the universe (GOD) and by myself. I know that what I am going through will make me stronger and teach me a few lessons I have needed to learn for years I guess but when you
are in the middle of it all it is hard to see the light.
All I feel is disappointment and hatred of myself and the universe. I feel that the universe has been playing a mean joke on me. I had everything I wanted and it was all good for me and for others and then like a bad boy it was taken away from me, punished and sent to a dark naughty corner.
I am still working at the moment, it is paying the bills but I am not happy. Why must I do what I am good at? I want to do what ‘I love’ not what I am good at. I did it last year for months. it was amazing, now I have gone backwards with no way of turning it around. I hope I am wrong.